A little out of order.....

As I posted the picture on the previous blog, I saw this picture I did and wanted to put it on here too. Back in the 2007-2008 school year, when we lived in New Mexico, we hosted a beautiful exchange student from Germany. Her name is Isabel. She came here to visit us at the beginning of the month, after not seeing her for a little over 3 years. We did a "re-take" of the picture that we took on the night that she became a part of our family in 2007. The changes are crazy!!! :) Erik and I are significantly smaller and our kids have grown like weeds! :) These were taken August 6, 2007 and August 7, 2011. :)

And yes....I dyed my hair between this pic and the pic I posted in the previous post. LOL




Oh and might as well share this one too.... ;) Erik and I celebrated our 14th anniversary on August 2nd. We went out to celebrate a few days before and we had our oldest snap a few pics of us as we were dressed up to go out. I made a little collage of us on our wedding day, our weight loss starting day and current. :)

Maintenance....

Wow.....didn't realize it has been a whole month since I have updated. Things in maintenance land are going very well! :) It's been a little tricky with adding in all the things I've not eaten in so long and trying to figure out exactly when I should eat what....especially since I'm still eating three Medifast replacement meals every day. But, I think I've got the system down pretty well now and with the higher caloric intake and exercise combined, my weight is great! I weighed in at 128.0 this morning and I'm nearly 2 months out since reaching my goal at 130.2 pounds. :)

So, one thing people wonder about with so much weight loss....the "skin." Yes, I have some excess skin at this point. But, I am very happy to say that it is definitely shrinking in somewhat already. :) It has to have time to play catch up with the changes to the rest of my body and though I wish it would go faster, I will have to be patient with it and hope for the best. ;) It is to be completely expected with having lost more than 150 pounds. There's just no way around that. It is amazing to me, though, even with the extra skin on my belly....what is underneath is getting pretty solid!!! Who me??? Hard abs???? LOL I have discovered, also, that my belly button borders on being an outtie!! It is really crazy the things you discover about your body when the weight is not there disguising your true form. :)

I spend a lot of time in the gym these days. I go to Zumba classes pretty much 5 days a week and sometimes more than one class in a day. I'm also RUNNING 5K....had my fastest time yet yesterday at 30:35!! I want to try some of the other classes and now that the kids are back in school, I can figure out how to fit that into my day. I love Zumba so much, I don't want to do anything else instead, so just need to figure out how and when to do both. I actually love to exercise now and believe me, those are words that I never thought I'd ever think or say. I am so blissfully happy with the changes I've made! :)

This is a pic of me taken this past Saturday....on my way to ZUMBA!!! :)

I'm still "ME"....same person I've always been.

As you might imagine, I've gotten a lot of attention over the past year + with my weight loss. The feedback has all been positive, uplifting, encouraging, amazing.....and sometimes a little uncomfortable.

It's not that anyone has EVER said the wrong thing or been out of line in anyway. But, after YEARS and YEARS of pretty much flying "under the radar," being unnoticed and even neglected in some ways. After years of having people not really even making eye contact with me, let alone really talking to me more than small talk and getting to know ME and what's underneath the exterior, people are suddenly very engaging. After years of having doors let close on me, men are opening doors for me and turning their heads for a second look. It's a little bizarro and can be uncomfortable at times. Heck, even my husband of nearly 14 years is looking at me and complimenting me in ways like never before.

So much has changed for me, so quickly, that in many ways I'm still catching up mentally to my "new" physical self. I look in the mirror at the gym in Zumba and I can see that I am actually one of the smaller people in the class.....and yet, I don't "see" myself that way.

I've been reflecting on this a bit lately and realizing how truly differently people treat people that are obese. I guess I didn't realize at the time that I was really being treated any differently....but I was. I mean, aside from our parents having the "we're concerned about your weight/health" talks with us, no one ever said anything about it. I never had some really awful thing that I have heard said to other people said to me. I guess, instead, I was just ignored. Now, I take some credit for this...as for a good while I just sort of kept to myself. I guess I sort of hibernated and didn't put myself out there much either. I unintentionally made myself out of sight/out of mind. And I felt VERY alone and very lonely. *sigh* So, part of it was definitely me......and the other, I became one of the countless faces of the obese. A face that people see, but don't really SEE.

I'm doing things now that I haven't in a very long time. I feel happy and positive and energetic and maybe it's sort of like the laws of universe or karma......the whatever you put out there, is what comes back to you sort of thing. So, I realize that I am having to relearn how to really interact with other people. How to integrate myself back into a world that shut me out and that I shut myself out of.

But, I'm still ME. Maybe a better form of me....but ME nonetheless. I still have the same brain, the same heart, the same soul and the same feelings that I have always had. As I still work on my physical transformation and have begun the journey of maintaining (while hopefully still improving) the self that I've become, I find that I'm now having to think about things and deal with a lot more on the mental, emotional and spiritual changes too. It's interesting, to say the least. No matter what, I can now say that I truly love myself and that's something. :) No matter what or how others view me or respond to me or love me.....I LOVE ME.....and know that I was loveable all along. :)

BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!!!!!

Never did I realize when choosing "Firework" as my song on here that it would end up having double meaning. :) After spending a few days camping in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, I returned home to my scale that I'd been unable to obsess over for a few days. LOL ON the 4th of July. Though it was afternoon and I'd already been eating during the day....and drinking a ton....I stepped on my scale before getting in the shower (habit) to was the camp off of me. The number staring back at me surprised me as it was the same as my previous weight taken first thing in the morning after "fasting" all night. So, doing a little math, I *knew* I had to have hit my goal. Either ON the 4th or the day before....which either way I was unaware...but came to the realization that my goal had in all likelihood been reached ON the 4th, the day of fireworks. :) Just had to wait till yesterday morning for the ultimate confirmation....WHICH I RECEIVED!!!!! A day later, I can still hardly believe it.....that I DID IT!!!! I have reached the end of one journey and am about to start another. :)

So what happens now??? For the next week or so, I continue to do what I've been doing for over a year now. Still eating the 5 prepackaged replacement meals and my own "lean and green" meal. Then I will start the true transition process in which I start adding foods that I've been abstaining from, back into my diet and weaning OFF the prepackaged meals. I will admit it, I'm nervous. THIS is where the real hard work begins. Learning to have true balance in all things and working hard to keep all the weight I've lost off. I have learned so much about myself and about how this all works. I've also met some really awesome people along the way who have done the same thing I am doing, who are down the "transition road" a ways, who I can and will lean on for support. I will NOT let myself down. I love myself now and am so proud of what I have done and will NEVER go back to what and who I was before. I'M A FIREWORK!!! :)

Here are my "GOAL" photos!!! :)

Starting weight 280. Current weight 130. ONE HUNDRED FIFTY POUNDS LOST FOREVER!!!! :)

Been a while.....ooops!!!

Just got thinking I have neglected my blog lately! Guess I really have. That's why I'm not a professional blogger. ;) Life has been crazy. Since I last blogged, we closed out the school year.....which as any of you who are parents knows, it's complete INSANITY the last few weeks.....and we are now on summer "vacation." Translate that into, Vacation for the kids & busy craziness for the Mom. ;)

On the weight loss front, I've had a very frustrating few weeks. I'm going to take it that it's my "karma" for rolling my eyes at people who "just need to lose 10 pounds" so many times. LOL I now completely get that frustration, because the last 10 are WAAAAAAYYYYY harder to lose than the first ten. The scale has literally had me in tears some days. Sigh....
I know that losing half myself in just over a year is completely AMAZING. I really do. But, I am so ready to move on to the next phase of my transformation. I'm ready to live in the "real" world again. I want to do so much more than I'm doing, but I'm still finding that if I overdo it with the workouts, that I'm not getting the results I want. It is really a delicate balance for the whole calories in/out thing. I'm ready to be at the weight I want to be and then focus my energy on toning up and getting even more fit. But, I'm finding that I have to get the weight off first. Also....summer fruit is calling my name and I am excited about the idea of being able to eat fruit again. :)
Soooooo.....with all that said, the scale is FINALLY moving again. **KNOCKING ON EVERY WOODEN SURFACE IN THE VICINITY** This morning, I hit my original tentative goal of 135. It's just the number I had bobbing in my head....but then I decided to go for a full 150 pounds lost and weight of 130. So, I am FIVE pounds away from my goal!!! I am just hoping and praying that the last 5 don't come off as slowly as the previous 5. :)

I will try to keep this up to date with my crazy boys running around....and then of course my journey into transition (adding back abstained from foods....fruits, grains, etc into my diet) and maintenance!!! :)

Funny pic.....

Did this the other night..... I'm standing in one leg of my old "fat" pants! :)

Oh and I'm down 2 more pounds now.....8 till goal!!! :)

Half the girl I used to be pics......

Wanted to put these on last night, but blogger was down then and this morning as well.
So......here they are....140 pounds lost (also weighing 140 pounds!)!!! It's crazy to me that from here on out, I will weigh LESS than what I've lost! :)



It also just occurred to me that my blog from yesterday is MIA.... hmmmmmm..... Maybe due to the issues Blogger was apparently having? Well, maybe it will show up.

HALF the girl I used to be.........

Oh YEAH!!!!! That is 140 POUNDS gone FOREVER!!!!!! I cannot believe that this day is actually here.....especially since the scale has been teasing me mercilessly as of late. But, yes, it's real, it's true and it's happened to ME!!!! :)
This sounds super weird and I totally don't mean this in an arrogant way.....but some days I'm kind of in awe about myself....about this whole journey I have been on. Almost 13 months ago, when I started this journey, I hated myself. I was miserable.....but honestly didn't realize how miserable I was. Most days I just didn't feel like doing anything. I had lost zest for life and had no motivation. Yes, I wanted to lose weight, but didn't really have the drive to put in the work and the time. Let's face it, when you have A LOT to lose, it is a VERY daunting thought....much less actually doing it. I was really freaked out about the cost. We are a one income family and not well off by any means. But, we decided to go for it....and I'm so very glad and thankful that we did. I am a totally different person now. Or rather I'm the person I USED to be.......before my weight controlled me. I look good, I FEEL good, I'm HEALTHY and I'm HAPPY. :) What is better than that????
I will post pictures later. Of course, being a week day no one is here but me and the dog...and he's not a very good photographer. ;)

I'm NORMAL!!!!!

Actually hit this a few days ago, and haven't taken the time to blog till now. But, I have reached the "normal" range on the BMI Scale!!!! I have all these numbers in my head....the number to "normal," the number till having lost half my starting weight and of course, my "goal" weight. So, I was rushing around the other morning trying to get my younger two out the door to the bus and then was going to take my oldest and drop him off at his school....as it's on the way to the gym. I hurried and jumped on the scale as I changed from my jammies to my gym clothes, wrote the number on my calendar got dressed and ran out the door. I was in warm up mode on the treadmill when I started thinking about the numbers and I was like "WAIT!!! Did I actually become "normal" this morning????" So, I grabbed my phone as I'm briskly walking and pull up a BMI calculator and start plugging my numbers in. Sure enough!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! THIS is what it's all about....getting to the range that is considered not just "normal" but HEALTHY!!! The looking good is just the icing on the cake. :) I felt like I was flying on the treadmill that morning and it made for a fantastic start to the day and I think I had a smile plastered on my face all day long. :)

I really am regretting my choice to go off plan for Easter right now. The scale is moving again....but I really wonder how much closer I'd be now if I hadn't derailed it. It's not like Easter is like Thanksgiving and Christmas meal wise....though we did have a nice meal. But, I'm just really not sure it was THAT worth it since I'm so close!!! Live and learn, I guess. ;)

So.....where do I stand now? I am 1.4 pounds away from having lost 1/2 my starting weight (140 pounds), and I am 11.4 away from goal. :)

Evil IKEA meatballs.......

Sent the weekend on a downward spiral. ;) Went off the wagon this weekend. I knew it might happen. Just hadn't really decided whether or not it would. On Friday, we headed down to Atlanta for the open house at the Atlanta LDS Temple. It was beautiful and a great thing to take our boys to. :) The other excitement of going to Atlanta? IKEA!!!! I LOVE IKEA. :) I also love the meatballs at IKEA. LOL I hadn't previously decided whether or not I was actually going to eat them. Then I got there and Erik and the kids were about to order and I had to make a decision......and I went for it. I just decided I hadn't been to an IKEA in over two years and in the year and a half that we've lived here, this was our first time to Atlanta. Don't really have need to go to Atlanta, obviously, and it might be a long time before we get back there. So, I went for it. But, it wasn't just the meatballs. They come with gravy and lingon berry sauce.....which is what makes them so yummy. Then there was the potatoes on the side and the lingon berry juice. Oh man oh man. Then....since I went off plan, I might as well have a cookie? Or three? So, you get the idea. LOL Of course it was Easter, so that also meant that there was going to be yummy dinner and dessert. So, since I'd already thrown it all out of whack at IKEA, I just decided to enjoy the Easter weekend and start back 100% on plan today. :) I will say that I was actually very good about it. I still ate my MF meals otherwise....though not all of them (like I skipped having my brownie, since I was having cake). Portions were controlled, didn't have seconds. So, all in all, it wasn't really too bad. :) Back on plan today and have no doubt that's where I'll stay. :) I WILL lose the last 14 pounds I have till goal!!! :)

One Year......

I really wanted to get on here Saturday and post for my one year "anniversary" of starting my weight loss journey. But, I was in the doctor's office and pretty much out of it all weekend. Turns out, I have a sinus infection and an ear infection in my right ear. BLAH!!! I was in absolute misery, to the point of tears. I haven't been this sick, to the point of needing to see a doctor and prescription to fix my illness since I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest...which was also for a sinus infection. Ironically, chances are, I got this crud from my initial visit to the doctor establishing myself as a patient almost two weeks ago. It's what I get for finally going to the doctor! HA!!! I also had my physical done late last week and am now awaiting lab results from my pap and full blood workup. I expect all will be well. :)

So.......as previously mentioned, I have had my one year anniversary since starting my weight loss journey. :) What an absolutely AMAZING year it's been!!!! I hit 133 pounds lost on Saturday, meaning only 7 pounds till I'm literally HALF the girl I used to be!!! CrAzInEsS!!!!!! I'm living this and still can hardly believe this is ME!!! :)

In other EXCITING news.....I was in the store the other day, for fun I decided to try on some size 6 capris just to see how close I was to having them fit and look good too. I was absolutely thrilled to find that they slid right on, buttoned up and looked good too! :) WOOHOOOOO!!!! So, of course, I had to buy them. ;) On the way home from the store, I started contemplating whether or not my wedding dress would fit me now. I had tried it on 2 or 3 times before and just couldn't quite get it zipped up all the way. So, I went and pulled it out of storage again. I put it on and had my 6 year old (only other person home at the time) zip me up....and it ZIPPED.....ALL THE WAY UP!!!!! :) I started screaming and jumping up and down and he was literally on my bed rolling in hysterical laughter at me. LOL A couple minutes later, Erik arrived home from Scouts with our other two boys and I went running down the back stairs squealing with excitement to show him. Yes, I'm sure I was quite a site to behold running bare foot out of my house in my wedding dress. LOL I took some pictures, but I'm not super thrilled with them......taken at 8:30 at night, hair and makeup looking like it's 8:30 at night. LOL So, I'm going to have Erik take some nice ones of me to post here when I'm fresh. :) Was going to do that Saturday, but then got so sick.
So, that's my update for now. Only SEVENTEEN pounds till goal!!!! :)

I can so ROCK this 35 year old thing. ;)

Turned 35 on Monday and it's been a really good week. Hit the -130 pounds on Sunday, then broke from being in the 150s into the 140s with my actual weight on Tuesday. :) Go me!!! :) On Wednesday, I went to the doctor for the first time in 6 1/2 years. Doctor is nice, that went well and now I have an appointment for next Thursday for a complete head to toe exam and blood work. I can hardly wait. ;) LOL Definitely not my idea of a good time, but I'm loooooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg overdue and it needs to be done.

I have been to the gym every day this week!! Go me!!!! :) I went last night because I couldn't go in the morning, when I usually go, because of going to the doctor. I was BEAT by the time I was done. Have to say that I much prefer going in the morning. Less crowded and I don't have almost and entire day's worth of energy spent by the time I'm there. I literally flopped myself onto my bed and laid there for a while trying to get the energy to change my clothes. LOL Then, though I still felt beat from last night, I went to Zumba this morning. I LOVE Zumba!!!! If you haven't gone to a Zumba class, you're missing out. It is so much fun and a great workout. :) Last year, I'd have laughed about going to the gym at all, much less every day. Now, I LOVE IT!!!!

So, I've decided that getting older isn't so bad. I feel better and look better than I have in years. So, I'm embracing it and totally going to ROCK IT!!!! :)

-130!!!!!

Woohoooo!!!! So, today I *finally* hit 130 pounds lost. Making my weight 150. I'm hoping within a couple of months that I can flip those two numbers with 150 lost, weighing 130.....which is GOAL!!!! Actually I'm toying with the idea of going for 5 more pounds and going for 125.....haven't quite decided. So, as for now, 130 is still the goal. Anything more will be the "cherry on top." :) Here's my 130 loss pix. Next stop.....-140. Exactly HALF of my starting weight!!!!! I can't believe I'm so close!!! :)

The difference a year makes......

Been doing some deep thinking this morning. ;) As I'm half way through the last week of being 34, heading like a bullet train into my (GULP!!!) mid-thirties AND as I'm quickly approaching my one year "anniversary" of starting my weight loss journey, I've been thinking about the huge changes I've made over the last year.

My life is so different, *I* am so different than I was just a year ago. The last two mornings, I've woken up just tired and sort of "blah" feeling. I've done my usual routine of getting the kids up, fed breakfast, ready for school, pack their lunches and sending them out the door, while my bed has been calling to me, "Jodi, come back!!!" And oh how I've wanted to. I think it's the weather. It's cold (again, ugh!), gray sky, rainy, foggy..... The kind of weather that just makes you wanna stay in your PJs all day and curl up under the blankets. But, every morning, I have forced myself past that feeling, pushed it to the side, gotten myself dressed and hauled my booty to the gym. A year ago, I'd have climbed right back into my bed. But, I have a different focus, a drive that I haven't had in so long. I'm doing things for myself that I know are good for me, make me feel better in the end and that are inching me closer and closer to goals I have set for myself. :)

My weight was a culmination of a lot of things going on with me, but I think I threw myself so much into doing things for other people.....mostly my husband and kids....that I neglected myself. I was too tired and exhausted to have anything left for me or really even to care about me. I really lost myself.

But, now, I'm getting glimpses of myself. My true self. The one that I'd forgotten about that was so light-hearted and silly and loved to laugh and make people laugh. The one who was outgoing and unafraid. The girl who felt like she fit in and had a place in this world. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm thrilled that I'm not actually this fuddy duddy person I'd become. :) I've started to think about what I want to do next with "Project Me" once I have reached my weight loss goals. I'm contemplating going back to school. But, I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. LOL A year ago, I'd never have thought of that either. :)

Oh and on another note. I haven't been to a doctor in a LONG time. Like since my 6 week post partum check up after having my youngest, who is now 6 1/2 (shameful confession). Yikes!!! Part of it was due to moving. Part of it due to not wanting to discuss my weight with the doctors. Part of it because my Mom got sick and I was afraid of hearing anything bad about myself. And part of it due to the fact my Mom, through her illness had a few things happen to her because of doctor screw ups and ultimately her death caused by medical malpractice. So, I've avoided going to the doctor for myself like the plague. ;) But, I called the practice my boys go to and set myself up an appointment for next week, so I can thoroughly take care of me! :)
When my Mom got sick, she begged me to take care of myself, to lose weight and take control of the things that I have control over. I know she's in Heaven looking down on me and so proud of me. Okay, the end. I've gone and made myself cry. ;)

Water.......the diet wonder

Just thought I'd put a little plug in here for drinking water. Before I started this plan, I was *not* a water drinker. This was, and still is to some point, something I have to be very deliberate about doing. Plain water is not my preferred choice of beverage, but it is soooooooo important. Just to be healthy and keep your body running as it should, a person should consume at least 64 oz of water every single day. But, really, 64 oz isn't a lot and is pretty easy to consume. Something I have tried to do since being on plan and that I recommend to others is to consume *at least* 100 oz every day. When I'm being good, I actually do about double that. I mentioned in my previous blog entry that I was sort of stuck. Well, don't want to jinx anything but the scale is moving again. :) The only thing I have really changed is to up my water consumption and stay on top of it. I have absolutely noticed that when I drink more, I lose more. So, anyone trying to lose weight, no matter what plan if any you are using.....pound the water. You really cannot hurt yourself drinking a lot of water as long as you space it out and give your kidneys time to process it. So, don't go all crazy and drink a gallon in a sitting. But, a gallon or even a little more over a day is okay.

While I'm at it......going to make a little plug for something else. While being conscious of your body and trying to take care of it, remember to take care of our planet and be kind to it. I'm no crazy environmentalist.....but I've noticed in the gym sooooo many people using the kind of water bottles you buy by the case. If you're trying to drink a lot of water, that's a whole lot of waste even if you recycle. Buy a reusable water bottle and refill it. Many refrigerators come with filtered water dispensers and even if you don't have one, you can buy filter attachments for your faucet or buy a filtered pitcher to keep in your fridge. I actually have a favorite water bottle that I like so much I went out and bought a couple more of the same kind. I use one bottle all day long and then wash it. Much more environmentally friendly. :) Also, because I know how many ounces it is....I fill it *at least* once for every meal and am easily able to keep track that way of how much I consume for the day. :)

My favorite water bottle. It's like $4 at Walmart. :)

Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

This is what I keep telling myself any way...and I believe it. But, I'm having a hard time being patient. And I know it's ridiculous. What am I being impatient about? Losing this last darn 25 pounds that at this point are feeling eternally glued to my body. ;) I *know* that this is how it goes. The less you have to lose, the slower it comes off. It's the truth that I tell to my clients. Especially those looking to lose less weight than I started with needing to lose. The more you have to lose, the faster it comes off. The less you have to lose, the slower. I mean, I lost 125 pounds in 11 months. That is UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLY AMAZING!!! I *know* that. But, this last 25 isn't coming off anywhere near as fast as that first 25. Ugh. However, I am thrilled to be at this end of my journey. :)
A friend that I have made through Facebook who is on this plan too, hit her goal on Sunday. I am ECSTATIC for her as I have watched her journey since I started my own. She made a video of her journey that had me in such happy tears last night as I watched it. I related so much to her journey and it made me so excited that there really IS a light at the end of the tunnel for me. She had about the same amount to lose as I did and it took her 58 weeks. So, a little over a year and I'm quickly approaching my "anniversary" too.....so hopefully that's somewhere near the time frame I have to look at as well. So, if your reading, another shout out of CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to Margene!!!! You're awesome, girl!!! :)
So, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep doing what I'm doing and reminding myself that PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!!! :)

A couple of visuals......

Since it hit 80* here today, I decided that I needed some new "springy" things to wear on my bottom half. ;) So, I went shopping today and bought me a couple pairs of capris. I was hanging the new items up in my closet and my "big" pants folded and sitting in the top of my closet caught my eye. So, I pulled them down and laid my new capris atop my old pants. The old pants are a size 20. The biggest size bottom I ever bought. They were tight and truthfully, I could have fit nicely in *at least* a 22, if not a 24. The capris are size 8 and fit me perfectly. :) I can still hardly wrap my mind around the idea that I actually fit into a size EIGHT!!! :) I hold them up and they seem so small and I doubt they will fit me, but then they do. My mind has just not caught up to my body yet. It's really kind of funny. :)

The old and the new.......



My youngest, Connor, and I goofing off IN my "big" pants. He is my youngest and smallest...but, I have lost MORE than my 5'6" 12 year old (tomorrow!) weighs. :)
Oh and pardon how scary I look, it's the end of the day and I'd already undressed for the day and am in my lounge wear (under neath the pants). ;)

Me.......size 8??????

Oh YES I am!!!! :) I'm going to a Church women's conference this coming weekend. My Mother in Law bought us tickets and gave me mine as part of my Christmas gifts from her and Father in Law. So, I was thinking about what I'm going to wear. The dress for the occasion is "Sunday Best" which for us, is a skirt or dress. So, I'm thinking that I only own one skirt. It's a black skirt and I could get away with just wearing that with a different top each day. But, what fun is that? ;) So, I went shopping to see what I could find....initially thinking that I would buy another skirt in a different color. So, I was at Kohl's and wasn't really seeing any skirts I liked. They had a really cute dress that was in the "Simply Vera" Vera Wang Collection.....but alas not the right size. BUMMER!!! So, I grabbed a bunch of dresses off the racks and started trying them on. Imagine my shock when a size EIGHT (that I had grabbed just to see how far off I was) actually FIT me!!! Being silly, I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of the moment! ;) Oh, that was NOT me who trashed the dressing room.....it was a mess already when I went in.



However, I was not in love with any of them, so I didn't buy anything there. I came home and was looking at a few stores online to see what they had. So, I was looking at Belk and saw a dress that I LOVE.....and was very excited to find that the store a few miles from my house had it in the store. So, off I went to see if they had it in the right size and if I liked it on me. They did and I did!!! :) Was so happy to find that the 8 in this dress fit me too! :) So, now I have a new pretty dress for the conference and to take me through the spring. :)

And another month later.......

Good grief!!! I really do have the best intentions when it comes to this blog, but life seems to always get in the way! Thought I should post a little bit of an update though! ;) I am now 121 pounds down and have said so long to the 160s and HELLO to the 150s!!! :)

Loss has been slightly slower this month (month of February). I went out of town for a week, and while I didn't "cheat" and eat badly during that week....I ate salads out a lot. Unfortunately, that usually means that I've not eaten enough protein because restaurants are usually pretty sparing on meat on a ginormous (in some cases) bed of greens. I did fall off the wagon slightly on my last day out of town. It was my niece's birthday and by the time I was picked up from the airport and taken to my inlaw's house and seeing my husband and kiddos for the first time in a week, it was party time and I just didn't have it in me to drive out somewhere in search of a "lean and green" meal. Was back on plan 100% the next morning and I'm okay with that. :) The combination of the week and the one meal (and a little cake ;) ) threw me a bit off. So, while I didn't gain.....I didn't lose either. Could also have been a period of my body playing catch up too. I've had weeks like that when I've done everything perfectly, so it is what it is.

Starting this program a little over 10 months ago at 280.2 pounds, I could only hope and dream that I could look and feel like this again after more than a decade of being obese. Now I'm about 29 pounds away from my tentative "goal." :) I've decided that I'm aiming for 130. I haven't weighed that little since I don't even know when. High school? Middle school? Either way, it's been a LONG time. So, that's what I'm shooting for and hoping that it's possible. Any less.....well, I don't know if that's realistic with my rapidly approaching 35 year old, have grown and birthed 3 babies body. LOL However, a year ago, I'd have laughed at the idea that I'd ever think about weighing 130 again. :) When people who are my current weight would say something like "I want to lose 25-30 pounds." I'd be like, "If I had ONLY to lose 25-30 pounds! I'd be thrilled to weigh what you weigh!" It was true. Very true. I am happy where I am. I feel good, feel like I look pretty good. But, I know I can do better. So, I'm going on. I am still considered "overweight" on the charts and I don't want that. There's a pretty big range of "normal" that I can play around in. 130 puts me well in and gives me a "buffer." Only 19 pounds to NORMAL!!!!! :)

Here's a pic I had taken a couple of weeks ago when I was in Utah, after I whacked my hair off! :)

Oh! And for my side by side comparison pics, now that I'm so close to goal, I'm going to do every 20 pounds rather than the 10 I've been doing! So, another 9 pounds and I'll do the next set and the next group after will be my GOAL pics!!! :)

110 Pound Pics!!!

Somehow, I missed posting these? Weird! Took these pics on January 15th and I was actually 111.2 pounds down, but didn't take pics right on the 110 mark. ;) I can hardly believe this is me! :)

I'm OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!

WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!! I'm no longer obese, I'm now OVERWEIGHT!!!!! Doing a happy dance!!! :) I just figured out that I have lost the combined weights of my younger two boys exactly and I'm 4 lbs away from losing my 5'5" almost 12 year old son in weight!!! Another GREAT way to start the day!!! :) Next stop NORMAL BMI RANGE!!!! :)

One Hundred Ten Pounds Lost!!!!

And.......GOODBYE 170s!!! HELLOOOOOOOO 160s!!!!!

Having an AWESOME morning. First, I broke 110 pounds lost, 110.4 to be exact.....before I hit the 9 month mark in my journey on Sunday! I was really hoping for that milestone by then. :) But, I've also left the 170s and entered the 160s. :) What a FABULOUS way to start the weekend!!! :) I am really excited especially because I'm a pound away from going from obese to being "just" overweight!!! :D Maybe I'll become overweight this weekend???? LOL That sounds really funny to hope to be overweight, but when you're going in reverse it's an AMAZING thing!!! :)

I'm going "home" to Southern Utah sometime in the next few weeks. It will be so much fun to see everyone and show off the improved me! :)

Owning it......or not

A couple of days ago, I realized that once again, I weigh LESS than what my driver's license says. GO ME!!! LOL After losing a lot of weight and no longer looking like my old license (not to mention, I was way overdue for changing state licenses from moving here!) I decided it was time that I get a new license. I put my weight as 27 pounds less than I was at that point. LOL It just sounded better and I obviously wasn't going to get away with putting my goal weight down. ;) So, now I'm 29 pounds down from what I was that day. I'll go in and have my license redone when I get to my goal. :)

So.....that realization got me to thinking about how most people "fudge" the numbers on their license and don't really own what they are. Now, two licenses ago I really was what I said. It was the lightest I'd been in years and it didn't bother me too badly to own it then, so I put it down. When we moved from WA to NM and I got my license there, they didn't even ask and just transferred the number. LOL At my heaviest, I was 65 pounds heavier than what that number read. Yikes!! But, still, when I got my "new" license a few months ago.....I didn't. Mainly because I knew I wasn't going to stay there and even by the next day, I could be less.
I've also noticed recently, especially in this world of technology and social networking (like Facebook) where people put their stats, that people fudge the numbers there too. I remember years ago, my one brother in law had himself listed on Myspace as 8 feet tall and African American....which he was neither and it was so silly it just made me laugh. Obviously, those who know him knew it was a joke too. :) But, I've noticed, some people I know that are shall we say.....height challenged ;) (no offense, I'm 5' 2 1/2"....I'm right there with them! lol) fudge the numbers with their height too. Not by silly large amounts like mentioned above. But, it's funny to see people claim a number that is the same height that you know that you really are or even more than that.....when you know they are shorter than you....by a few inches. I guess it's a common thing that most of us want to be taller and thinner than we really are. LOL For the record....my driver's license says I'm 5'3" but that is because you can't put fractions of inches....so I rounded up instead of down. LOL

Then, I got to thinking about how this relates to weight loss and body image, etc. Being honest with yourself and what you are is such a HUGE part of it. I lived in denial a looooooooonnnnnnngggggggg time about my weight. I knew I was overweight, but I didn't step on a scale in literally years because if I did, I'd have no choice but to face it. Ignorance is bliss, right? ;) Even when this journey began, I *knew* what I was and Erik knew what I was.....but it took me a ways into the journey before I could admit it "out loud" to other people, on my blog, etc. I was embarrassed and ashamed and didn't want people to know that I was 280.2 pounds at my all time high. That I had let it get so bad. But, really, who was I kidding?????? Truth be told, only myself. Other people could see what I was, even if I denied it to myself. Now, I don't think I have ever verbally told anyone that I weighed less than I did.....I just simply didn't discuss numbers. But, I am quite sure that though people may have not known exact numbers....they knew it was up there. Even if I'd said 250...they'd probably be thinking "Yeah right!" in their heads. ;)
So, why do we all do it? Do we really think that other people are stupid or blind (not that it's really anyone else's business)? When you lose weight, people notice and when you gain......people also notice. Are we really trying to fool ourselves and make ourselves feel better? Hoping that our denial or fudging numbers to people will change what they see before them? Because really, it makes no difference to anyone else what height we are or what we weigh. We are what we are. But, that honesty or LACK of....can be a road block to success in becoming what we WANT to be and what we want other people to see us as. So, OWN IT PEOPLE!!! Own it and then move forward!!! :)

I am soooooooo behind here.......

Wow.....it's been more than a month since my last blog. I am *really* behind!!! I have still not gotten out of the holiday craziness. My kids started Christmas vacation on December 18th. A few days later we picked my Dad up at the airport in Nashville and then spent the next 5 days there with my inlaws. Then we came back home and spent the next 10 days here with the kids still on vacation and my Dad with us as well. They went back to school on the 4th, Dad went home on the 5th. Then......this crazy weather has been blowing through the south and my kids are on their 3rd snow day since!!! So, we have still not gotten back into a routine and regular life completely and I've now got two very unsightly cold sores to prove it! LOL My body is saying "ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!" I need a vacation from "Christmas Vacation." ;) So, needless to explain further, my blogging has been neglected.

In the weight loss department......
I did pretty darn good through the holidays. Halloween candy didn't phase me one little bit. Hopped off the wagon for one meal on Thanksgiving. Stayed strong clear up until Christmas Eve.....and have taken a bit of a detour since. Now, let me say, that I have NOT gone all crazy. I had some holiday food, Christmas Evening and Christmas Day. I was back 100% on plan the next day. Stayed 100% on plan till New Years Eve and had a NYE meal. Then I was about 90% on plan for a few other days. It just got really crazy especially when I had my Dad, two of Erik's siblings and their kids in the house and I was the ONLY person who is doing this. Erik is almost completely on maintenance now, so is eating mostly normal foods now. Now, the stuff I'm eating is not "bad" foods.....just not really on plan. For example, having a small soup and chili another meal which have beans in them....with a salad. So, for normal eating circumstances, this is actually a pretty good and healthy meal. Then, Aidan's birthday was on the 9th and I did allow myself to have cake. GASP!!! LOL
So.....it hasn't really been too terrible. I've not gained, but I've definitely not lost as much as other months either. I'm sitting at a 107 pound loss. So, basically 7 pounds lost over the last month with all the craziness and being off and on the wagon.
But........All that behind me now, I am back on plan 100% and moving forward. The holidays are past, the company is gone and there's nothing to even consider going off plan for, for a while. I have between 40 and 50 pounds I'd still like to and am GOING to lose!!! :)