Little Victories.....

So, I was complaining to Erik last night.....after all of our amazement at his before/current pics and the compliments of others on his weight loss.....about my own feelings about MY loss. As of today, I have lost 27.6 pounds. But, I'm wondering exactly where it's come off of? Why is my loss not as noticeable as his? Why does seemingly no one else notice any change in me? Now, granted, he's lost like 13 or so more pounds than me, but his loss has been noticeable (at least to me!)for a while now. I know by looking at myself, my face and neck area are a lot thinner. As are my "girls." lol And though things are fitting me differently....I haven't really "dropped" in sizes and I can't figure out WHY, when I've lost 27 lbs. Erik has gotten very comfortably into old pants he's not worn in years. He's had to tighten his belt till he needed to buy a new one. My Mother in Law called yesterday all giddy because she had just bought some size 12 shorts. That's at least TWO sizes that I know she's dropped. I am THRILLED for them....I really am. But, it's depressing for ME. 27+ pounds isn't anything to be depressed about.....but WHERE is it coming off of????? I'm wondering if I just filled my clothes out way more than I realized (how EMBARRASSING!!) and should have been wearing a bigger size? In that sense, I HAVE dropped sizes....but I've been in denial about what that really was. So, because what I thought was different than reality....I'm living in reality now? lol Pardon the rambling, I'm just really trying to figure this out!!!
So, after talking to Erik, I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of shorts I bought last year, thinking they were my size.....and was never able to wear them. I cursed Lane Bryant for shrinking their sizes. ;) I hung onto them, with the hopes of getting into them and yesterday I did! :) I am also wearing a shirt I bought last fall...that did fit, but shrunk in the wash (no, really, it did...in this case! lol). It's now fitting nicely. These are little victories for me to celebrate. :) It helped me to see that I AM actually changing in size....even if it doesn't really seem like I am.
It's also interesting to see how psychological blocks impact weight. I mentioned, probably in the first blog, that I never really saw myself as the "fat girl." I apparently lived in denial for quite a while. With snapping to reality with this diet, I really am quite mortified with where I was. I even have trouble "publicly" admitting what my starting weight was. I know and Erik knows....but I haven't shared that with ANYONE else. I still can't bring myself to actually say it "out loud." *sigh* I do have three milestones that I'm really hoping to hit this week and those will be little victories to celebrate as well!!! :)

Before and Current Pics of Erik

So, just for fun this afternoon and since Erik is less than a pound away from 40 lbs lost, I decided to take some current pics of him. Obviously with seeing him every day I *knew* from looking at him that his weight loss is really evident. But, seeing the before and currents together is still absolutely stunning and amazing to me and I can't stop looking at them. lol I know I've lost weight, but I'm hesitant to take pics of myself just yet. I will definitely when I hit 40 lbs too. ;) So, just had to post the little collage I made! :)

5 weeks.........and a couple of days.

Wow. Didn't realize it had been so long since I've written. OOPS. AGAIN. lol I really do have a good excuse. My sister Amanda and nephew Wyatt came to visit us for a week and I've been busy busy. Not to mention, the school year is winding down, so we've got all the end of the school year craziness going on at the moment. Luckily, school is out in two weeks and life will calm down. I am READY for the break. This school year has been tougher on me than it has been on the kids. lol No doubt with the other depression and stress factors in my life, it led to stress/emotional eating. I'm so happy to be breaking that cycle. But, I can still do without unnecessary stress!!! Yay for SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

So........onto the weight loss updates. Not going to go back and update for the weeks I forgot to blog, because it's only leading up to where we are now anyway. As of today, I am officially 25 lbs (exactly!) down! GO ME!!!! :) It's great, but I will be so happy when I'm at a point where others start taking notice of my success. Not that I need the praise of others. But, it's always nice when you've gotten to a recognizable state where others can see it too. ;) I've not had anyone who doesn't know I'm dieting mention anything to me. Maybe they are just being polite and not talking about my weight. lol
Erik is still doing so completely amazing and I'm so proud of him. He is less than a pound away from FORTY pounds lost and has officially gone below 250 lbs!!! YAY ERIK!!!!!! His physical transformation is so completely obvious and he HAS had people comment about his weight loss. He's doing a great job and I'm so pleased he is happily sticking with it. I probably mentioned at the beginning what a crabby dieter he is. lol He does pout from time to time about not being able to eat certain things. Like when we were in Gatlinburg last weekend and we'd already had our lean and green meal for the day.....but the kids and my sister still had to eat, so we stopped in at the Mellow Mushroom and watched the kids eat pizza. Erik LOVES pizza and Italian food in general, so this was depressing for him. He likes to avoid even seeing foods that he loves at all costs. That is a little frustrating for me, because I went and had a very nice lunch with my sister at our favorite restaurant (a Japanese steak house called Wasabi) and split a meal with our 5 year old and ate only the things allowed for a lean and green meal and enjoyed it immensely. Erik doesn't want to go there, because he doesn't want to see the yummy rice and not be able to have it. He needs to get over it. lol
In a nutshell, things are still going really great. :) We get our next order on Tuesday and there's a couple of things in it that we've not tried yet, so looking forward to that. :) Medifast is changing our lives. :)

Week 3 and shaking things up a bit.......

So.....week three was a bit rough for me. Again. Maybe it's not really rough, but it's definitely NOT week one, so it pales in comparison. I guess I really shouldn't compare. My weight is really funny, in that it seems like the scale doesn't budge for my "official" weigh in day, but I'll drop 2-3 pounds over the next couple of days after. I guess there's a reason that we shouldn't weigh *every* day, because it's enough to make you crazy! It's like a total happy dance moment when it moves.....and I'm seriously ticked and even in tears when it doesn't. *sigh* So.....I will give our weight loss statuses as of today. Today, day 24 in this journey, I FINALLY hit 20 lbs lost!!!! WOOHOOOOO!!!!! :) Erik, the big booger, is >< this close to 30 lbs. YAY ERIK!!!! I'm seriously HAPPY for him.....but can help having a little bit of the green eyed monster feelings. ;) It is really tough seeing the scale continually moving for him.....even just ounces, when it stands still for me, sometimes for days. But, how cool is it that we've now lost effectively 50 lbs between us!!! That's more than Connor weighs, and just a few pounds less than Aidan! We've lost a kid! lol It's AMAZING!!! Will be even better when we're half the people we used to be. :)

So...I've noticed, that when I get my lean and green meal in earlier in the day, I tend to lose. Whether that's a fluke or what, I don't know. So, I'm trying to shake things up a bit, by eating my L&G for lunch instead of dinner. It does kind of suck to not sit down and eat what the rest of the family is eating, but oh well. I can still sit with them and eat one of my Medifast meals. I figure I can make whatever for dinner and stick a portion aside for myself to eat the next day at lunch. I really want to see if that makes a difference for me. I know that the number I've lost is actually *very* good.....but when you've got a lot to lose, it's a little depressing to see such small progress.

I just remembered, I need to take pictures of Erik before he loses much more....since he hit his 10% bodyweight loss. The difference in him (by looking at him) is awesome. He's dropped at least one pant size and you can definitely SEE that he's losing weight. Me, I don't know so much. I'm definitely slimming down, but I'm not sure how noticeable it is to others yet. I'm losing it in areas that are probably less noticeable to others. Like, "the girls" have shrunk quite a bit. Why do we always lose there first? lol So, it will be fun to see some comparison pics as we lose. :)

Week 2......

Well, since the week 1 update was a little late.....I guess it reasons that this one would be a little late too. ;) Week 2 was VERY frustrating for me!!! I basically hit a couple of mini plateaus and had very little loss last week. All the while the numbers kept falling for Erik. ARGH!!!! It was very frustrating because this diet is designed so that there really isn't a whole lot of room for error (which is the beauty of this diet!)and there wasn't a whole lot that I can do to change what is. I posted on the MF Facebook page and that's what others said too. Plateaus happen with very little rhyme or reason. The one thing that I could change was to up my exercise level, which I have done and seems to have helped. I don't expect huge numbers every week like we had the first week....as amazing as it would be to lose it all that fast with so little effort! ;) But, there's GOT to be something happening! So....week two ended with me at a 13.4 lb loss (total since beginning). Which, yes, IS a great number for 2 weeks....but considering 11.6 pounds happened in week one, it really sucked for week two. Erik ended week 2 down 21.6 lbs!!!!

HOWEVER.....the scale started moving again the very next day (go figure) and by 15 days I was down exactly 15 pounds!!! :) Today, I am down 17.6 and Erik is down 23.2. :) YAY US!!!!! So, after a week of sheer frustration and yes, some tears.....things are going well again. :)

I bought me a good pair of walking/running shoes this weekend and this morning picked up some capri style yoga type pants to exercise in. My long yoga pants are just too hot to wear with the weather warming up and I like to sleep in my soft goucho type pants, so I don't want to wear them to work out in. The shoes were on sale, but still I never spend that much on shoes. Truthfully, I hate shoes (what kind of girl am I? lol) and would rather walk around barefoot and have just never invested much in them. But, the tennis shoes I had hurt my feet and were NOT good to wear much, much less exercise in. So, it needed to be done and I'm sure will be a good investment. :) Here's hoping for a great rest of week 3!!! :)