Little Victories.....

So, I was complaining to Erik last night.....after all of our amazement at his before/current pics and the compliments of others on his weight loss.....about my own feelings about MY loss. As of today, I have lost 27.6 pounds. But, I'm wondering exactly where it's come off of? Why is my loss not as noticeable as his? Why does seemingly no one else notice any change in me? Now, granted, he's lost like 13 or so more pounds than me, but his loss has been noticeable (at least to me!)for a while now. I know by looking at myself, my face and neck area are a lot thinner. As are my "girls." lol And though things are fitting me differently....I haven't really "dropped" in sizes and I can't figure out WHY, when I've lost 27 lbs. Erik has gotten very comfortably into old pants he's not worn in years. He's had to tighten his belt till he needed to buy a new one. My Mother in Law called yesterday all giddy because she had just bought some size 12 shorts. That's at least TWO sizes that I know she's dropped. I am THRILLED for them....I really am. But, it's depressing for ME. 27+ pounds isn't anything to be depressed about.....but WHERE is it coming off of????? I'm wondering if I just filled my clothes out way more than I realized (how EMBARRASSING!!) and should have been wearing a bigger size? In that sense, I HAVE dropped sizes....but I've been in denial about what that really was. So, because what I thought was different than reality....I'm living in reality now? lol Pardon the rambling, I'm just really trying to figure this out!!!
So, after talking to Erik, I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of shorts I bought last year, thinking they were my size.....and was never able to wear them. I cursed Lane Bryant for shrinking their sizes. ;) I hung onto them, with the hopes of getting into them and yesterday I did! :) I am also wearing a shirt I bought last fall...that did fit, but shrunk in the wash (no, really, it did...in this case! lol). It's now fitting nicely. These are little victories for me to celebrate. :) It helped me to see that I AM actually changing in size....even if it doesn't really seem like I am.
It's also interesting to see how psychological blocks impact weight. I mentioned, probably in the first blog, that I never really saw myself as the "fat girl." I apparently lived in denial for quite a while. With snapping to reality with this diet, I really am quite mortified with where I was. I even have trouble "publicly" admitting what my starting weight was. I know and Erik knows....but I haven't shared that with ANYONE else. I still can't bring myself to actually say it "out loud." *sigh* I do have three milestones that I'm really hoping to hit this week and those will be little victories to celebrate as well!!! :)