I had intended to include these thoughts in my last blog, but my 5 year old kept wanting me to watch all of his cool "ninja" moves, lol, so I was a bit distracted. ;)
Erik and I were having this conversation the other night about not being caught up mentally with our physical changing. I guess when you've been used to seeing yourself a certain way or looking at your clothes of a certain size for so long, it just becomes sort of burned into your brain that that is who/what you are.
So, I've been noticing that about myself. I see the changes in myself, obviously, every day when I look in the mirror. But, I don't think I'm really seeing myself all the time, mentally. I was really studying myself in the mirror the other day and Erik happened to walk by and just stopped and smiled and started laughing at me. It's a great thing we've been married so long that we can see each other doing really dorky stuff and just laugh at each other and ourselves. :) So, I see what I am and logically know the changes, but when I go to buy myself something new.....or just think about it......I automatically walk to the "big girl" section and start looking at things in the size I was when I started. Then it occurs to me, that those things aren't going to fit. Every time I go to put one of my new pairs of capris on, I see them and think, "Oh, these aren't gonna fit!" and yet they slide on and are even getting loose! So, I was browsing the dreaded swim suits the other day, because I *really* need a new one. I went swimming at the gym the other day and decided my old suit was just not working any more. But, I'm looking at the suits and I'm a bit intimidated and I'm finding that I'm feeling that way about clothes in general.....because I have a lot more choices now than being so limited in the plus sizes. I haven't been able to bring myself to try one on yet though! lol But, I'm gonna have to do it. We're going back to Erik's parents' house and I won't be able to swim in their pool if I don't!
Erik has said that he is having the same kind of "issue." Just not quite used to being what he is now. Makes sense to happen when you lose so much, so fast.
Even funnier though, at least for me, is that I'm not used to seeing Erik either. I find myself just staring at him sometimes. I have actually twice now, lost him in stores! We separate for just a minute and when I go to find him again, I look everywhere and then I see him and realized I walked right past him, not realizing it was him. LOL
I guess it will just take a while for our brains to catch up with our bodies! ;)
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