A little out of order.....

As I posted the picture on the previous blog, I saw this picture I did and wanted to put it on here too. Back in the 2007-2008 school year, when we lived in New Mexico, we hosted a beautiful exchange student from Germany. Her name is Isabel. She came here to visit us at the beginning of the month, after not seeing her for a little over 3 years. We did a "re-take" of the picture that we took on the night that she became a part of our family in 2007. The changes are crazy!!! :) Erik and I are significantly smaller and our kids have grown like weeds! :) These were taken August 6, 2007 and August 7, 2011. :)

And yes....I dyed my hair between this pic and the pic I posted in the previous post. LOL




Oh and might as well share this one too.... ;) Erik and I celebrated our 14th anniversary on August 2nd. We went out to celebrate a few days before and we had our oldest snap a few pics of us as we were dressed up to go out. I made a little collage of us on our wedding day, our weight loss starting day and current. :)

Maintenance....

Wow.....didn't realize it has been a whole month since I have updated. Things in maintenance land are going very well! :) It's been a little tricky with adding in all the things I've not eaten in so long and trying to figure out exactly when I should eat what....especially since I'm still eating three Medifast replacement meals every day. But, I think I've got the system down pretty well now and with the higher caloric intake and exercise combined, my weight is great! I weighed in at 128.0 this morning and I'm nearly 2 months out since reaching my goal at 130.2 pounds. :)

So, one thing people wonder about with so much weight loss....the "skin." Yes, I have some excess skin at this point. But, I am very happy to say that it is definitely shrinking in somewhat already. :) It has to have time to play catch up with the changes to the rest of my body and though I wish it would go faster, I will have to be patient with it and hope for the best. ;) It is to be completely expected with having lost more than 150 pounds. There's just no way around that. It is amazing to me, though, even with the extra skin on my belly....what is underneath is getting pretty solid!!! Who me??? Hard abs???? LOL I have discovered, also, that my belly button borders on being an outtie!! It is really crazy the things you discover about your body when the weight is not there disguising your true form. :)

I spend a lot of time in the gym these days. I go to Zumba classes pretty much 5 days a week and sometimes more than one class in a day. I'm also RUNNING 5K....had my fastest time yet yesterday at 30:35!! I want to try some of the other classes and now that the kids are back in school, I can figure out how to fit that into my day. I love Zumba so much, I don't want to do anything else instead, so just need to figure out how and when to do both. I actually love to exercise now and believe me, those are words that I never thought I'd ever think or say. I am so blissfully happy with the changes I've made! :)

This is a pic of me taken this past Saturday....on my way to ZUMBA!!! :)

I'm still "ME"....same person I've always been.

As you might imagine, I've gotten a lot of attention over the past year + with my weight loss. The feedback has all been positive, uplifting, encouraging, amazing.....and sometimes a little uncomfortable.

It's not that anyone has EVER said the wrong thing or been out of line in anyway. But, after YEARS and YEARS of pretty much flying "under the radar," being unnoticed and even neglected in some ways. After years of having people not really even making eye contact with me, let alone really talking to me more than small talk and getting to know ME and what's underneath the exterior, people are suddenly very engaging. After years of having doors let close on me, men are opening doors for me and turning their heads for a second look. It's a little bizarro and can be uncomfortable at times. Heck, even my husband of nearly 14 years is looking at me and complimenting me in ways like never before.

So much has changed for me, so quickly, that in many ways I'm still catching up mentally to my "new" physical self. I look in the mirror at the gym in Zumba and I can see that I am actually one of the smaller people in the class.....and yet, I don't "see" myself that way.

I've been reflecting on this a bit lately and realizing how truly differently people treat people that are obese. I guess I didn't realize at the time that I was really being treated any differently....but I was. I mean, aside from our parents having the "we're concerned about your weight/health" talks with us, no one ever said anything about it. I never had some really awful thing that I have heard said to other people said to me. I guess, instead, I was just ignored. Now, I take some credit for this...as for a good while I just sort of kept to myself. I guess I sort of hibernated and didn't put myself out there much either. I unintentionally made myself out of sight/out of mind. And I felt VERY alone and very lonely. *sigh* So, part of it was definitely me......and the other, I became one of the countless faces of the obese. A face that people see, but don't really SEE.

I'm doing things now that I haven't in a very long time. I feel happy and positive and energetic and maybe it's sort of like the laws of universe or karma......the whatever you put out there, is what comes back to you sort of thing. So, I realize that I am having to relearn how to really interact with other people. How to integrate myself back into a world that shut me out and that I shut myself out of.

But, I'm still ME. Maybe a better form of me....but ME nonetheless. I still have the same brain, the same heart, the same soul and the same feelings that I have always had. As I still work on my physical transformation and have begun the journey of maintaining (while hopefully still improving) the self that I've become, I find that I'm now having to think about things and deal with a lot more on the mental, emotional and spiritual changes too. It's interesting, to say the least. No matter what, I can now say that I truly love myself and that's something. :) No matter what or how others view me or respond to me or love me.....I LOVE ME.....and know that I was loveable all along. :)

BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!!!!!

Never did I realize when choosing "Firework" as my song on here that it would end up having double meaning. :) After spending a few days camping in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, I returned home to my scale that I'd been unable to obsess over for a few days. LOL ON the 4th of July. Though it was afternoon and I'd already been eating during the day....and drinking a ton....I stepped on my scale before getting in the shower (habit) to was the camp off of me. The number staring back at me surprised me as it was the same as my previous weight taken first thing in the morning after "fasting" all night. So, doing a little math, I *knew* I had to have hit my goal. Either ON the 4th or the day before....which either way I was unaware...but came to the realization that my goal had in all likelihood been reached ON the 4th, the day of fireworks. :) Just had to wait till yesterday morning for the ultimate confirmation....WHICH I RECEIVED!!!!! A day later, I can still hardly believe it.....that I DID IT!!!! I have reached the end of one journey and am about to start another. :)

So what happens now??? For the next week or so, I continue to do what I've been doing for over a year now. Still eating the 5 prepackaged replacement meals and my own "lean and green" meal. Then I will start the true transition process in which I start adding foods that I've been abstaining from, back into my diet and weaning OFF the prepackaged meals. I will admit it, I'm nervous. THIS is where the real hard work begins. Learning to have true balance in all things and working hard to keep all the weight I've lost off. I have learned so much about myself and about how this all works. I've also met some really awesome people along the way who have done the same thing I am doing, who are down the "transition road" a ways, who I can and will lean on for support. I will NOT let myself down. I love myself now and am so proud of what I have done and will NEVER go back to what and who I was before. I'M A FIREWORK!!! :)

Here are my "GOAL" photos!!! :)

Starting weight 280. Current weight 130. ONE HUNDRED FIFTY POUNDS LOST FOREVER!!!! :)

Been a while.....ooops!!!

Just got thinking I have neglected my blog lately! Guess I really have. That's why I'm not a professional blogger. ;) Life has been crazy. Since I last blogged, we closed out the school year.....which as any of you who are parents knows, it's complete INSANITY the last few weeks.....and we are now on summer "vacation." Translate that into, Vacation for the kids & busy craziness for the Mom. ;)

On the weight loss front, I've had a very frustrating few weeks. I'm going to take it that it's my "karma" for rolling my eyes at people who "just need to lose 10 pounds" so many times. LOL I now completely get that frustration, because the last 10 are WAAAAAAYYYYY harder to lose than the first ten. The scale has literally had me in tears some days. Sigh....
I know that losing half myself in just over a year is completely AMAZING. I really do. But, I am so ready to move on to the next phase of my transformation. I'm ready to live in the "real" world again. I want to do so much more than I'm doing, but I'm still finding that if I overdo it with the workouts, that I'm not getting the results I want. It is really a delicate balance for the whole calories in/out thing. I'm ready to be at the weight I want to be and then focus my energy on toning up and getting even more fit. But, I'm finding that I have to get the weight off first. Also....summer fruit is calling my name and I am excited about the idea of being able to eat fruit again. :)
Soooooo.....with all that said, the scale is FINALLY moving again. **KNOCKING ON EVERY WOODEN SURFACE IN THE VICINITY** This morning, I hit my original tentative goal of 135. It's just the number I had bobbing in my head....but then I decided to go for a full 150 pounds lost and weight of 130. So, I am FIVE pounds away from my goal!!! I am just hoping and praying that the last 5 don't come off as slowly as the previous 5. :)

I will try to keep this up to date with my crazy boys running around....and then of course my journey into transition (adding back abstained from foods....fruits, grains, etc into my diet) and maintenance!!! :)

Funny pic.....

Did this the other night..... I'm standing in one leg of my old "fat" pants! :)

Oh and I'm down 2 more pounds now.....8 till goal!!! :)

Half the girl I used to be pics......

Wanted to put these on last night, but blogger was down then and this morning as well.
So......here they are....140 pounds lost (also weighing 140 pounds!)!!! It's crazy to me that from here on out, I will weigh LESS than what I've lost! :)



It also just occurred to me that my blog from yesterday is MIA.... hmmmmmm..... Maybe due to the issues Blogger was apparently having? Well, maybe it will show up.